|Copyright: Ersin UYANIK (eruyanik)
|Date Taken: 2010-10-24|
|Camera: Canon 350D EOS, Canon EF-S 18-55|
|Exposure: f/9.0, 1/25 seconds|
|Details: (Fill) Flash: Yes|
|More Photo Info: [view]|
|Photo Version: Original Version|
|Date Submitted: 2010-11-12 18:41|
|[Note Guidelines] Photographer's Note|
|i know very well, the range between Kartepe* (means snowy-hill) and Kuzuyayla Platoo, through a bitter-sweet experience i did not share with you before. Like what i occasionally do these days, i parked my car to the east side of the Kartepe Hotel which amazes you with its huge building where settled on that remote and highest summit of the Kocaeli region and started my own safari just as late as 15:30 in the afternoon. i went through the slope of the nice beech forest and here i took the first mushroom photos of the day. A variety of the colourful mushrooms were at the ground which garmented with splendid yellow and brown tones of the fallen leaves, while the mushrooms showing their beauty carelessly, i had the pleasure of the day with a nice start. i also met the hygrocybes and marasmiusses there, just on that spot of the place and the time. After climbing the sloopy ridge, i found the lactariusses, which increased my enthusiasm of the happy day, just where i came a cross under the scattered firs along the roadside. These lactariusses should have been salmonicolor or deterrimus rather than delicious, i dare say, looking to the firs around. Then i decided to go into a path i have seen before and also never set the foot before. On the way i encountered the huge puffball, fresh, stern and bright, looking to me caressively. i was progressing with the excuisite charm when i left the road and following the scattered firs within the beech forest, walked from one lactariusses to another to pick them up. Where i took the photos of a tricholoma terreum and a clavulinopsis corniculata one a piece by the way, i noticed that i lost my finger-atele, due to a muscle injury, atttached to my pinky finger and there i worried too much for just a finger-atele and had the feeling of something strange. When the sun already started to down, though i knew there was less time for the pleasure of the day, i preferred to pass over all the pessimistic suggestions uttered by a wise inner voice, not because i was wiser but just more passionate i was than a gloomy subconscious. So i was still picking the cunning mushrooms scattered by the fate, here and there, to form a certain path to an unknown yield within the deep of the grim forest. it was getting dark and i would not think about return all the way back anymore, knowing that all the ships were already burnt, sure i would find a sparing path, like all the same before, waiting stand still ahead. While i kept on tracking the sketched way towards where the vision is gradually diminishes, i noticed the lens cap, owing to the fact that there was not enough light anymore, which i had put it on its place before, was fallen and lost too and i remembered right away for some reason i already knew that would happen when i had put it on there. And now i knew too there was no other choice but progressing forward to find the forgiving path. i've been walking by way of bending the branches without caring the thorny bushes around within that part of the grim forest where the beeches was smaller and dense all the way now. At the end i found the path what i was looking for, two metres wide, and there the firs which guide me through the lactariusses were also on the sides. i was able to spot those plenty magical beauties under them. Although there was no place to put, i kept picking and the same wise subconscious warned me varily “not to be greedy” and i recollected instantly, a movie named “se7en” and the poor greed victim and his killer Jon Doe. Nonetheless i thought, i already found the saviour path and now it was time to return which i was agreed in the end, when there was no light in the sombre night. i chose which way to settle and i became anxious at the end of the chosen side of the path where just bushes and the dense woods all i had met. Just before i checked the other end of the path, same wise voice whispered sadly to my ear “now it’s time to lose your cellphone” and when just that sudden thunder came and strike me deadly, i thrusted my hands to my pockets without thinking, yes, i had indeed lost my cellphone too. Now i realised that self confidence came from the cellphone, made me ease unconsciously before, left me alone in that dark nightmare within the grim forest. As it should be, i was in panic without any delay. According to the ceremonious method, i suggested myself “you should not be in panic, try to be calm” but i thought if i did not get in panic within this situation, the time and the place, when or where i would be in panic in my life so, and decided to be in panic all the way in the strictest sense of the word. After i made sure the other side were also a dead-end, like i lost some of my tools before, now i lost myself too! i was trying to move on desperately in the dark in need of a candle-light or to speak the truth, i was fighting with the starving limbs of the cruel beeches to pass. When i came into a steep rocky area pantingly, this time i told myself “now it’s time to broke your legs too”. Here it is, some vanishing stories should have been plotted exactly like this and i was sure the fate must have been weaving its web sadly, it was “methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient”. i must hurry up, i should have run, run, run but now i was starting to lose the fight with the gruesome branches. When i came a cross with a tough one, i was loosening myself to the other side and let myself rolling over shapelessly in a clumsy way, standing tactlessly, struggling madly but speeding like a tired turtle, i was fighting with the everlasting stubborn beeches on the way. i lost my sense of direction completely and aware of being in a life and dead game, at least i felt like that and do not dare to underestimate what i told you here, i have lived that night chilled to the bones and learnt that in a survival battle one could lost his humanity, when one was conducted alone by the survival instinct, which it is the strongest one within all of em, nothing would be different than the single-celled creature does. Up to that point i had carried my family with me all the way, keeping them in the mind that they were at the country town waiting for me desparately without knowing what happened, with all the cruel suggestions within their mind, i have left my sweet three daughters and my wife on that spot alone, now i was just thinking myself, only myself...|
Below down there at the deep of the ridge was just an introduction to a new endless beginning and when i reach there, there will be another slope to climb up, i was sure, as much stubborn and as much steep like before, just this time without having rolling over luxury, i would have to climb just like a man, panting... What if i climb up there, i had no doubt there would be no hope but just rendezvous with a complete despair. That night i had learnt what the meaning of the despair within the grim forest, which you can not find in any detailed dictionary you have in your bookstore, so as all the dictionaries not to be of the slightest importance...
In fact, the story is not ended here, there it continues, such as when the time i lost my sense of direction, when i was most desperate that night, i spotted, like a polestar, that crystal sphere which was formed with lots of stars of the Kartepe Hotel, winking at me through the naked ghostly thin branches and when the hope was leaf out again, when i grasped my humanity there, i did not mention to you about my last vacation to the final expectancy. Most particularly i did not mention to you, when the wind blows again to a certain direction of the conscious which i did not ever intended to settle, after a long climbing and decisive struggle to the magical lighting of the crystal sphere, i have seen that crystal hope was shattered before me as just a full moon which was bigger than in any other usual night. i should have been staggered and let off myself on that spot, without knowing i would find a way to the salvation, which i did not expect, just 50 meters ahead.
Now i’m wondering if my lost soul is still there and looking desperately to find a way out within the grim forest...
ramthakur, Noisette, Hormon_Manyer, Pitoncle, yiannis has marked this note useful
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